Healing a numb heart
by T.S.M.A
Summary: They say time heals all wounds, but this isnt one piece he took the whole thing.
1. chapter 1

_I'm running, fast. My heart is beating like a deer in headlights, I don't know why I'm running but fear spreads over me, the bush snags my sleeve and I fall on my back_

 _Black._

 _It's black around me, my head is pounding. I must of hit it_

 _"Help me please" my voice cracks_

 _Tears are building up and a small whimper escapes through my shivering lips_

 _"Please someone help me" I try once more._

 _I close my eyes admitting defeat._

" _Are you okay?"_

 _"Let me help you Bella"_

 _I know that voice._

 _That voice left me long ago._

 _Left me alone._

 _I keep my eyes close. I can't look. I want too but it'll hurt I can't look at him. _

_I'm already broken. What's the worse that happen?_

 _No._

 _No have some dignity Bella!_

 _Why? What's the point I'm dying anyway?_

 _No Bella fight back!_

 _Oh that voice._

 _I let the darkness take me._

 _I don't want to live without **him**_

 _But he left me?_

 _No_

 _This isn't fair_

 _Get up Bella!_

 _Do it for yourself! Get up and fight back!_

Not again.

"Stupid nightmares" I whisper to the mirror.

My eyes are droopy and it looks like I've got no sleep.

"Don't give Charlie a reason to kick you out stupid" I hiss at the figure in the mirror.

I walk into my room and get on with what I've been doing since he _they _ left.

Just try to get through another day. In complete silence.

Everyone says it'll get better. That time will heal all wounds.

But this isn't a wound. No, not a piece of something missing. **He **took my heart and crushed right in front of me.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two. 

( **A:N Hey guys so bare with me it's been awhile since I've wrote but I'll try to build up my confidence and write everyday! Remember reviews help ALOT! thanks lovely's! )**

Jake doesn't come round anymore.

Since _**they** moved, _he said there's no point, he's doing what the packed instructed. What they're created for. Look after the humans and that's it. Not look after me, humans in general.

Charlie is starting to worry now, well more than usual, I just want to forget **them.** Forget my tiny pixie like friend and her ability to make anyone look deep dead beautiful, I want to forget them all.

But I can't forget **him..**

" _Time better hurry up and heal these stupid wounds"_

 **FOUR YEARS LATER**

Edwards POV

 _She doesn't realise how much I miss her, but going back now wouldn't be a smart idea? .. would it?_

 _I left to keep her safe, to give her another chance at being human but the thought of her without me experiencing those things just makes my throat dry._

 _I left her so bluntly, and she believed every lie that spilled out._

 _My foolish Bella._

 _No not my Bella anymore, I left her. That dog probably jumped first chance he got.. Still, she can grow old with him._

 _There's no chance at that with me._

 _Alice is hurting, I can see it in her thoughts. She tries hard not too look at her future whilst I'm around but i see fragments of her. _

_She probably loves her life now,_

 _No one attacking her, no vampires fighting to get a taste of her._

 _Oh how I miss you Bella._

 _But I will keep my word.. I'll try too._

 _Bella POV_

I plot around the house trying to gather Charlie's things, Since Harry Clearwater passsed four years back, Sue and Charlie really hit it off, he wants to move the the reservation and after 3 years of a steady relationship I say good on him.

Sue told him she doesn't mind living here with us but Charlie said no. Too many memories of Renee.

Fresh start new slate his new quote is.

I guess I've gotten used to being alone, I don't see him anymore, or hear his voice in my dreams, it's been so long I can't remember much. Mainly because of the meds I'm on. But they help.

As we packed the last box into Charlie's new truck I give him a hug

" _Make sure to visit dad, and clean up after yourself don't let Sue do everything"_ I whisper as I hold him with what feels like that last time

" _Course Bells Chivalry isn't dead just yet"_

I can see he's excited and I'm happy, that twinkle in his eye has finally come back. Last time I saw that was six years ago when he picked me up from the airport.

Sue and Charlie get into the truck, beeping and waving as they drive away, I mentally prepare myself for the boredom


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

 _One late visit._

 _Bella POV_

After cleaning every room, corner and tile in the house I move to the outside. Sun doesn't come much in Forks so when it does you make the most of it.

After four gloriously sunny yet short hours the sun starts to set and twilight is just on the horizon.

I used to love this time of day but not anymore, "so cliched"

As 9.pm ticks on by I settle into the couch, since Charlie left, the house is too quiet too sleep in my own room, I scroll through the channels and pop my sleeping pills into my mouth, within 20 mins a warm haze falls over me and the dreamless night begins..

Edward POV

 _She looks so beautiful, I had to see her, just one more time, just too see if she's okay, I went to her window and her scent oh god how I've missed it,_

 _And yet here she lay, not in her bed like I thought she'd be, but curled up in a ball in the living room,_

 _"How I've missed you my Bella"_

 _I know she can't hear me, but I admit I wish she did, I wished she'd jump up off that couch and throw herself at me and yet I know she won't,_

 _"What I did to you, I'll never forget, I will never forgive myself Bella, I will make things right I promise" I stand up and walk over to her._

 _Odd no sleep talking tonight, no light snore or gentle movement. She's so still._

 _I let myself out through the front, and run,_

 _" I promised her to make things right and I will"_

 _I run to Carlisle, explain to him I'm going home._

 _Bella POV_

How weird, a dream, I had a dream for the first time in years, he looked so beautiful, such a god

I brush it off, I don't want too think about him; I've gotten to far to bring that crap back up again!

I roll over and grab my phone, 7:45 am

Great another long boring day.

I head up to the shower pulling my weight up the stairs slowly trying to pass time,

As I get to the bathroom I flick the shower on, steam fills the room quickly,

Quick shower and then breakfast I think to myself,

Off goes the shower

Step out

Dry yourself off

Get some clothes

Making these mental lists helps me get through the day.

Black jeans and a lose dark grey shirt today

"I guess it's dress like a brooding teenage day"

I think to myself, as I pull my hair into a high ponytail,

 _Bang bang bang_

"Must be Charlie"

I pull a hoodie on and make my way down the stairs

"Jeez Dad don't need to knock you own the house remember? "

The door flings open and I swear my heart drops almost as fast as the air leaving my body.


	4. Restart

_**A/N Thanks for being patient! I haven't wrote in a very long time, but I'm trying my best! Loves and kisses! Please review to give me a better understand of what you'd like!**_

 _"Bella?" "Bella I'm sorry"_

Ugh that voice, that sweet angelic voice

My eyes hit the floor, I can't bare to look at that face, the clear skin, the hair and golden orbs,

"A-Alice what are you doing here?" I sneak a glance and it all comes flooding back, tears sting the corner of my eyes,

She's looks exactly the same; perfect as ever

Her delicate frame dressed in god knows what, the beige trench coat that's snug in the right places makes her look elegant even if this horrid weather

Confused at my question she glances over my shoulder

 _"Bella, I'm here because Ed"_

"No, no Alice I can't I'm sorry this hurts too much, so please just tell me what are you doing here?"

I've hurt her, I can see it in her eyes, she looks me up and down momentarily pausing on my face and I see her eyes; Sad, hurt and a flicker of anger,

Before she speaks I interrupt her realising how rude I'm being " listen I'm sorry why don't you come in, get outta the rain"

I step aside and she walks through as if it's second nature, Alice delicately hangs her coat up and walks over to the lounge.

"Bella before I go on I just want too apologise, we never meant to hurt you, we didn't want too leave I promise but he begged us, saying it wasn't fair you get caught up in a life where you wouldn't experience something we all didn't, I'm sorry Bella and I know you can't forgive me but I hope you do in time"

Alice has her eyes down at her hands, her posture drips with guilt and in that moment I couldn't help myself, I fling my arms around her tiny neck and squeeze

"Alice I've missed you so much, I'm so glad to see you I'm so sorry for how I reacted I was just surprised but I'm glad you're here"

Her arms snake there way around my waist and she gently squeezes

"It's okay Bella I missed you too, we all did"

Alice asked what had happened after they had left town, I tried to give her as much as I could but I didn't really leave the house for a solid 6 months, so it's hard to tell something when you're not sure about it yourself, I could see Alice wasn't thrilled with what went down, but she didn't push, she seemed on edge so I didn't ask.

The last thing you want to do is aggravate a vampire, especially Alice.

She told me what they had been doing over the span of four years, Alice and Jasper split off visiting some of Jasper old friends, Alice said they stopped in Rio and she fell in love with the place.

Carlisle and Esme went back to London for a getaway, Alice said they needed some alone time and Carlisle wanted a break before going back into work.

Rose and Emmett are travelling still; and have been for the last year, Last Alice heard they're making there way to New Zealand.

Alice didn't tell me about him and in a way I'm glad,

I must've of dazed out because Alice grabbed my hand and patted my ever so gently,

"Bella, he wants to see you"

"What? Why?"

Alice looked uncomfortable, she had that look since she showed up this morning,

"He wants too talk, he would've come with me this morning but I told him it wasn't fair, too spring up on you like that, that HE left YOU not the other way around, I said I'd ask how you felt about it and let him know but if you don't want too that's okay don't feel obligated okay?"

My head started spinning,

 _He wants too see me?_

I pulled away from Alice, scared my sweaty palms would give me away, I looked up at Alice unsure of how to answer, did I want to bring that part of my life up? Again? Get hurt all over? More sleepless nights? More hurt heartbreak? More medication?

"Alice?" I looked over to her, she waited patiently and grabbed my hand

"Yes Bella?"

"Ring him, tell him to come"


	5. Time to talk

**A/N Hey Guys and Gals! Sorry I haven't posted in awhile ! Work has been crazy and to be very honest with you it's been hard to carry on the story! Anyway here we are! I'm trying my best, and stay along for the ride! Personally I like long stories that involve you in the characters life and how they view things enjoy my lovely's! Xx**

Edward POV

 _I know I shouldn't be listening, And I know I should be waiting for Alice to ring at home but it was too difficult. Once Alice stepped through that door all I wanted to do was beg her, beg her to take me back, beg that I'd give her whatever she wanted; even if that meant changing her. I'd do anything for her._

 _Alice had managed to win Bella over once again, I could tell by the warm embrace Bella had thrown at her, why was I jealous? Why did it hurt when Alice said those words? "HE LEFT YOU" it hurt because I know it's true. No excuse would do, I can't go back and change the past but I sure as hell am not gonna sit by and let Bella's life fly over my head without myself in it; that's of course if she'll take me back. All I can to is wait._

 _"Edward"_

 _Oh Alice knew me too well._

 _I can see her on Bella's porch; she has her phone to her ear and is talking low enough for me too hear; making it seem to Bella I'm not hiding in the bushes like Mike did when he found out where Bella lived,_

 _"Bella wants you here, but wait 30 minutes;_ _I said I didn't know if you'd be at home since you didn't leave with us; go home, get the car and come back"_

 _Alice looks over to the bushes and nods, hangs up the phone and casually walks into Bella house,_

 _"Bella he's on his way, he said he'd be about 30 minutes so you've got time to calm that heart of yours"_

 _Well time to go home and grab that car._

Bella POV

Stupid heart, stupid anxiety, stupid cold sweats;

I turned to see Alice leaning against the counter top, her face tells me she's calm but there's a twinkle in her eye and the only time she gets that is when she sees something like wants, like that latest shoes or dressing me up which is rare

"Bella go to your happy place and calm down, when Edward gets here I'll make him wait out the front until you're ready okay?" Alice walks over and gently rubs my shoulders, I give Alice a reassuring nod "Will you be okay for 15 minutes?" My voice is shaky and it's hard to control, the nervousness is spreading like fire; "Take all the time you need, I'm here now Bella" I let out a relieved huff and bolt for the shower, taking two stairs at a time isn't my thing but today my clumsiness will not get in the way.

Once upstairs, I turn the shower on piping hot and let it fall over me, it does nothing but burn my skin, so I jump out and sit on the tiled floor, head resting on my knees I breathe

In

Out

In

Out

Once the room stops spinning I slowly make myself to my room

Ugh clothes

"Relax Bella I hope you don't mind, I laid your clothes out for you on the bed" Alice says from downstairs

"Thank you Alice, you just saved me another shower"

On my bed is black ankle biter jeans, and a sheer 3/4 sleeve dark blue blouse, paired with low cut white converses, and a few a silver bracelets.

Once I had what Alice had picked out for me I realised how much I missed this, a typical Friday would consist of Alice playing dress up, off to the movies or shopping in Seattle, or just hanging out with Jasper and Alice.

I pulled the brush through my hair vigorously, throwing it into a low ponytail, slapped on some lip balm and mascara and made my way downstairs.

Alice is waiting at the foot of the stairs and by the way she reached out too me I know he was here.

Alice gently rubs my hands between hers and does a head to toe scan.

"Bella I wouldn't usually say this, but I like the look you've done with your hair, tidy and casual"

Now for Alice that's a compliment she never likes what I do

"Thanks Alice" I whisper back, scared he'd hear how afraid I was,

"Would you like me to stay with you Bella? While you two.. talk?" Alice seems scared that's not like someone who could see into the future,

"No Alice it's okay we need to do this.. ourselves." I say, and surprisingly it comes out strong, brave even. Not at all how I'm feeling inside.

"Okay well he's at the door waiting, I'll leave you two to it then, just ring me and I'll come straight back."

"Thank you Alice," I embrace her with what feels like the last time " It's makes me happy you're making time for me, I've missed you so much, oh! I have something for you too I .. I uh wrote you two when you left, almost everyday it helped me cope" I blushed realising how stupid it sounds, but Alice looks appreciative, "where are the letters Bella? I'll grab them before I go"

I had to think for a moment, where did I stash them? Oh yes!

"In my closest in the bag hidden in the pillow case"

She was gone in a flash and back almost seconds later, with a kiss on the cheek she tiptoed; looked me in the eye sternly and said

"Okay Bella firstly, thank you for the letters I will not show anyone, not even Jasper; I'll have them on me until you tell me what to do with them, secondly, I'll go out the back, and thirdly open that front door when you're ready, take the time you need, make him wait."

With a quick hug she was gone.

And once again I was by myself.

Well in this room.

Hand on the door, I pull it open

"Here goes nothing" I thought


	6. Chivarly isnt dead

Edward POV

 _She looks so breathtaking, her skin, so light,_

 _The blush in her cheeks made my chest ache,_

 _But I've hurt her. It's hard to look away when it's sending off alarms in your head. The purple bruise like splotches under her eyes tells me she's had trouble sleeping, the way her body hangs around her scares me; like a child being told off, and her scent, still the same yet there's something off, medication maybe? Her intoxicating scent isn't as hard hitting as it normally is; and I know I've caused her this pain._

 _Bella won't look me in the face, her eyes are glued to her hands. "Bella? May.. I come in?" I tried to sound as gentle as I could, hoping she'd look me in the eye, but her beautiful lids flutter, her faces lifts the smallest amount and she moves her body to the side indicating for me to come in, I walked into the house and walk over to the living room._

 _A quick scan, I know Charlie's left; I knew that when I came here the other night. Just Bella in the house. No other scent of anybody in a long time. Which I won't lie I'm pleased._

 _Bella walks over to the single chair; I'm guessing so she won't have to sit next to me; she's protecting herself. My poor Bella._

 _I decide to choose the chair across from her; knowing Bella she'll slip up. She'll look. I hope._

 _Once I sit, I wait. I need to hear what she's thinking._

 _I need to give her a chance to speak._

 _I can see she's carefully putting together what she wants too say. Her eyes tell it all._

 _And then she exhales_

 _"So.. you wanted to speak? After all this time? Why?" No emotion in her voice. Nothing giving her away. This will be a long talk indeed._

 _Bella POV_

Oh goodness.

Slow your heart Bella he can hear it remember?

He's beautiful.

He always has been.

He hasn't changed much. Bronze coloured hair fighting against gravity.

Strong facial features.

The light grey long sleeve button up, that's has three buttons loose at the top, faded blue jeans and dark navy suede boots. Typical Alice.

He looks surprised by what I said.

"Well.. in all Honesty I don't know what to say Bella nothing I say will be good enough in my point of view" oh that voice

Imagine dying of thirst to finding the sweetest nectar of honey, just dripping beautiful.

"Bella?" It takes a lot but I look up.

His usually golden eyes are dark. Not black just yet but definitely not a human dark. I raise an eyebrow not trusting myself to speak.

"May I talk?" "It maybe easier if I just tell you everything and once I've said my bit I'll leave if you would like that?"

"Okay" my voice is definitely not trust worthy today.

Edward leans back into the chair and I can see he's thinking of where to start

"Firstly, I want to apologise. I didn't mean those things I said when I left all those years ago, I didn't mean to hurt you. And even though I can't be forgiven I understand. I understand you're hurt, and angry and you have every right to be; but I thought I was helping. I didn't want too take you away if you still had a chance at being human, growing old with someone, having children and seeing your great grand children. With me none of that is possible, so I thought that, you needed to be a human because I can't give you those things, and I never can, but that's no excuse for leaving-

"You're right" my voice breaks and I feel the pent up tears coming through

Edwards face for once is shocked but I carry on

"You left me here, YOU LEFT ME" I can feel the anger I've pushed away build. I get up from my chair and in an instant Edward is up too

Tears burn the corner of my eyes but I need to get this out, if I don't I'll never have another chance

"You left me when I needed you most! You made life so beautiful you gave me a reason to be happy and you snatched that out from under me Edward!" I can feel my body shaking, adrenaline pumping through my veins I pick the courage up to go right into his face, I thought I would scream but it came out broken " why?"

Edward POV

 _Bella once again has left me stunned_

 _After finding the courage something snapped inside of her, and she let me have it, I now look at her, staring me dead in the eye, with tears flooding over her face_

 _It must of been instincts because without realising I find my hand brushing over her face wiping those horrid tears away, i thought she'd pull away but she closed her eyes and leant in_

 _Holding her beautiful face in the palm of my hand just like old times_

 _"Why are you doing this to me Edward?"_

 _Her eyes meet with mine and I see she's looking for a sign of betrayal._

 _" I.. I thought I could live without you Bella. And I can't, these last four years have been nothing but torture. I need you"_

 _This is all I could say. If she says no. I'll go. I'll leave her._

 _Bella looks down at the floor_

 _God I hate how she does that. No confidence in herself._

 _And once again she stuns me_

 _"I.. I need you too"_

 _Bella POV_

I take a step closer breathing in the scent of his skin. " I need you too" my cheeks are sending off big signals. Before he can leave I press my head into his chest and hold on.

It takes him a second or two to register what is going on but he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. Arms locked around his neck I pull his head to mine.

"But I need to see if you're real"

Edwards head shoots up and he stares down at me with the most confused face I've seen.

"Just trust me please?"

He doesn't move; I slowly pull down his face to mine and he doesn't pull away even though I am nothing but weak compared to him, with a quivering heart I bring his lips to mine, at first he doesn't react, but ever so slowly he softly kisses me back pulling his arms tighter around my hips, the kiss starts out slow and soft; just how I remembered

Then Edward does something that surprises us both.

He lifts my legs around his hips and sits down in the chair pulling his hands through my hair;

He's too fast, his tongue darts across my lips making me moan, I press my mouth harder into his, drinking in his scent, his touch everything he does.

Hell. Even if this is a dream I'm gettting the most out of it.

Edward POV

 _What did I do to deserve her?_

 _Bella; who just two minutes ago had me thinking I couldn't stand a chance is now cradled in my lap, making my inner teenage boy come out?_

 _As much as I'd loved to carry on I want too do things right._

 _I pull away from Bella and instantly regret it._

 _I press our foreheads together and kiss her gently._

 _"Bella? Does this mean I'm forgiven?" I jokingly say_

 _She pouts those glorious lips and replies_

 _"Depends, why'd you stop?"_

 _"Well Bella as much as I want too carry on and believe me I do, I want to do it right. Chivalry isn't dead just yet"_

 _"I forgot how old school you were"_

 _Oh Bella._

 _If she'd known the things I wanted to do to her she wouldn't call me old school that's for sure._

 _I pull us both up and gently put her on her feet._

 _I proceed to get on my knee and pull out my mothers wedding ring that's been in my pocket since we came back to forks._

 _"I love you Bella. And I know I'm not out of the woods yet. But I want too prove to you that I'll never leave your side ever again. I know we can't grow old together but I have given up that privilege. Isabella Swan, Id ask you to marry me and grow old with me but since that isn't possible I'll say this. Isabella Swan would you do me the honor in becoming my wife and in time my mate for enternity?"_


	7. Reunion

**A/N Hey everyone! So far I'm loving those who have taken the time too follow the story but don't be shy to review, constructive criticism helps! Anyway I'm not gonna say much but I hope you enjoy!**

Bella POV

I gawked at the magnificent vampire lowered on one knee in front of me. My heart must be erratic.

Edwards POV

 _I'm not surprised by the reaction Bella's given, but her heart accelerated, Bella's face doesn't give herself away and to be honest I was hoping it would._

 _Instead of answering Bella walks away,_

 _"Bella? Bella have I said something wrong?" I watch her run up the stairs and into her room, once I get to the door I look in, and she's sitting on her bed. Head in her hands. Bella let's out a faint sob, if I had a working heart it would've dropped._

 _"Bella what's wrong?" I walk towards her and gently run my hand down her back, the sobs start too really come out between sniffles Bella looks up at me with tears streaming down her face_

 _"Th- this is all a dream isn't it? Alice never came back, yo-you're not here, you didn't just ask me to marry you, I'm asleep aren't I?" Bella's tears spill down her face, leaving puddles on her comforter_

 _"Bella, I can understand why you'd associate me with a nightmare, but not a dream" I say flatly,_

 _I've put her though a lot the least I can do is be patient_

 _Bella POV_

He didn't understand.

This dream Edward didn't get that this was too perfect. That for the last four years I'd hope he'd waltz in and come back into my life. But to ask for my hand? As well as give me what caused so many short lived arguments between us? Immortality? No it was too perfect.

Edwards face crumbled when I didn't answer. But I couldn't stop the tears, they were out and didn't want too be stopped for once, so much pent up emotion just bubbled over; like a soda with too much fizz

"I know you're not here, I know I'm dreaming and I'm scared ..I don't want too wake up" I sob "but when I do I'm going to break even more"

I knew this wasn't my Edward so I turned to him, he looked calm but his clenched fist told me something else.

I grabbed his face, scared I'd never feel his perfectly chiseled jaw in my hands again, afraid that once I wake up I'd never feel the shockingly perfect chill against my skin, I rubbed tiny circles with my thumb, memorising this exact feeling. Since I know this isn't my Edward I spoke with confidence in my voice

"Edward you don't understand, nothing you do would be bad too me, nothing. I believed you didn't love me because it never made sense for you too love me, I knew that from the start. You once said that anything you do would attract me to you, your smell, your voice, your looks, but you can take that all away I don't care" I looked up at my dream Edward and I saw something I'd never see in my real Edward: Hurt. Strong on his features. My Edward would never drop his wall like that.

"You called me your own personal brand of herion once" a smile made my lip twitch "but you don't get it, you're like a pill to me" things id never say too Edward because I knew he analysed everything I said "At first; I didn't realise how much I depended on you, and then I was cut off" the sobs started to creep into my voice "and now, I don't know how to function with my daily pill. Because you were- no you ARE all I know"

I let go of my dream Edwards face and scanned for his emotions. Nothing.

Edward POV

 _I have always underestimated this girl._

 _And when she realises I'm here I'll never do it again._

 _"I- Bella what do I have too do to prove it's me?" I wanted to change her right now. If that's what it takes I'll do it. Bella lays down on the bed and looks at the ceiling almost as if she knew I'd say this. Which is probably true, it's the most easiest answer._

 _"Fine. Since you're so adamant to prove you're real, take me to Carlisle, that's a face I haven't seen in a while" Bella smiles at her answer; she really thinks I'm not sitting on her bed with her? Oh Bella was she in for a treat_

 _Bella POV_

Okay.

He's real.

He was very pushy and didn't want too drive but run

And man. That opened my eyes up.

Way faster than a motorbike that's for sure.

We arrived at the Cullen's in record time.

It was like no one left, the house was bright with light and covered by the forest. Such a magnificent home

Once I stepped through the door Carlisle and Esme were there; it was breath taking.

I didn't know how to approach them so they came to me, Esme's arms found me first "oh Bella it's so good to see you love" she squeezed gently and took a step back holding my face in her hand, Carlisle had his hand on the small of Esme's back but he leant forward and gave me a peck on the cheek "We've missed you Bella, very very much. Could you forgive us?" The emotion in Carlisle's eyes never ceased to amaze me, pure sadness and hope

"O-of course Carlisle you were just doing what you needed too" I stuttered. They really thought I hated them

"we're lucky to have you in our lives Bella"

Just as I was about to reply, Edward spoke for the first time since being here

"Carlisle call a family meeting. Bella and I need to talk to everyone"

Bella POV

Once the hellos and hugs were over we all sat down at a table fit for royalty.

Emmett and Rosalie had arrived back from there travels days ago and followed Carlisle's message about coming back too Forks.

Carlisle had sat at the head of the table, whilst we all sat opposite each other.

Alice on my right, Esme on my left, Jasper across from Alice, Emmett decided to stand behind Rose and rub her shoulders. Edward sat next too Carlisle across from Esme.

"Edward has asked me to call this meeting so I'll hand it over too him.. go ahead Son tell us what you would like us too know" Carlisle reached out and held Edwards hand for a moment.

Edward leant into his chair and looked over at me before speaking "Well, firstly. Bella is here because she didn't believe Alice and I came to her house today" humour danced in his eyes and right on cue my cheeks flared up like a light in the night.

"So, I am going to make her believe me, I've asked Bella for her hand. But from what I've gathered she will not marry me unless I prove I'll change her." "Is that right Bella? Please correct me if I'm wrong"

I couldn't believe he was doing this in front of his family. Any other person would be fine. I could walk out and go home but considering this isn't your average everyday family I'm at a loss.

Since I didn't answer right away I looked over to Alice for a little help, she gives me a reassuring smile and proceeds to talk

"Well Edward from what I've gathered Bella hasn't given you an answer, and I know because no future has been set yet."

Oh god. Shouldn't of turned to Alice. Now it's my turn too talk because if I don't Alice will muddle this up as well

"No, no that's not it at all. IF I marry you, I'll be changed after the wedding. No point in getting married if no one I know can come in case I attack them" I realise how flat my voice sounds but it's true,

Edward nods like he agrees with what I'm saying but his question takes me a back

"So what's stopping you Bella? I'll change you once we are married."

"Well.. to keep it fair, I want too vote." I look around the table to see nothing but confused vampires all except one. My little pixie is basically bouncing in her seat.

"If you vote yes that means you don't mind me joining you. I know it's a lot to ask. And No for obvious reasons. Please spare me and just give me an honest answer"

Unsure of the outcome Alice goes first

"I love you Bella you know that: yes"

Then Jasper "of course Bella it'll be nice to not want to kill you all the time"

Then Esme " You're already a daughter to me, yes"

Emmett does what Emmett does best, picks me off the floor and smothers me in a bear hug "Hell yes Bells"

"Yes." In all honesty I'm surprised at Roses answer, I thought she'd say no, "I owe you an apology Bella I never realised how much my brother meant to you. But to take him back after what he did shows me how caring and righteous you naturally are. So yes"

Everybody turns to Carlisle, and I realised it didn't matter that everyone had said yes. If he says no everyone will follow.

Carlisle looks at me intently then says

"When's the wedding?" A smile spreads over his angelic face and that's when I decided I was definitely awake.


	8. All too much

Bella POV

With ice in my heart I watched them celebrate and laugh; joy radiated from the vampires around the marble table.

"No" it slipped through my teeth I couldn't help it.

All on eyes were on me, the celebrations died almost as fast as they started.

"Okay now I'm confused?" Of course Emmett would be the one to break the silence; that's just Emmett

"Bella what's wrong? I for once agree with Emmett and believe me that's rare" Edward blurred out..

"I.. I just need some air" if I could run without falling over my feet I would, instead I walk through the back exit to Esme's private garden.. Hopefully she doesn't mind.

I've been out here a handful of times but today, I invite the peace and quiet for the first time in months, I look for the closest seat and plonk down, it's slightly damp but not uncomfortably, just abit of dew from the setting sun.

After relaxing myself I realise how embarrassing it's going to be walking in to see all of there wary faces; stuck in my own thoughts I didn't hear Carlisle walking behind me until he spoke

"Bella may I sit with you?"

"Did they throw you to the sharks Carlisle?" Humour dropped off the words as they rolled off of my tongue. Of course they'd send Carlisle. He of course was always a neutral hand. Never taking a side. That's just how Carlisle is.

"No" his impeccable smile reaching his golden eyes

"No, so too speak I threw myself in the deep end this time"

Even with his lighthearted humour I could see the question burning into my skin

"Carlisle I don't know what too do, one minute you're all gone and now you're back.. almost like nothing happened. I just can't process what's happened it hasn't been a full day yet and so much has taken place than the last four years, of course I love Edward but... but I can't just go back to how everything was.."

Carlisle POV

A lifetime ago this all would've been accepted.

But this isn't the same society, Bella's nature has always inspired me. So resilient and good natured.

I can see why Edward wanted her as a mate.

And yet, here I sit instead of my stubborn son.

Bella's right of course, we can't expect her too be as naive as she once was; and now as a part of the family I must take into consideration her feelings towards everything. I reach for Bella's hand to calm her anxious heart

"Bella, I could tell you what too do but that's not beneficial to you is it?" Warm chocolate eyes stared back at me under thick lashes confused at what I've said I carry on "What Edward has done, he will never forget or forgive himself, but he wouldn't forgive us if you didn't think of what you want dear

I can't tell you something let alone make you into something you're not wanting" "but you have time, you have all the time in the world to choose your own path"

Bella POV

In all honesty I just wanted to go home.

My head hurt too much for this.

I haven't taken my medication all day and now it's starting to show it's effect

Instead of walking through the house I avoid all contact with The Cullen's.

Edwards blue Volvo is already running as I open the door, as I buckle in Edwards hand grabs mine before I can move

"Home?" His eyes are filled with worry and I feel guilty

"Please?"

The drive home wasn't long for, I didn't mind the fact that Edward was going double the speed limit but I needed comfort.

As we turned the corner of my street Edward spoke for the first time in 30 minutes

"Would you like me too stay? If not I can go home it's alright"

Of course I wanted him to stay.

That's the problem I never want him to go, but I'm not sure my fragile heart could take anymore pain.

"Stay please?" It sounded like a clingy child but I needed him here.

Edward POV

 _The ride to Bella's was quiet, tension hung in the air and I tried my best to make light hearted talk._

 _I tried not too pry into Carlisle's thoughts as he spoke to Bella outside in Esme's garden but it wasn't easy. What did I expect? I left her bleeding and it wasn't me who stitched her up. No that ruthless mutt left as well._

 _That reminds me..._

 _I need to do a little visit when Bella sleeps.._


	9. New Age

A/N **Hey everyone! Please don't get mad but I'm skipping through certain parts of the movies and books we love! I want too start getting down to the saaaaauuuucy parts!**

Jacob POV

I hadn't visited Bella in years. Man she probably hates my guts. But c'mon I'm her best friend, well _was_ her best friend. I decided long ago the best thing for me was too stay on the reservation. Hell I knew there was no point in winning Bella's heart with those bloodsuckers around. We knew they were back. Seth and Leah both joined the pack as soon as the came within reach of the reservation line.

Of course he'd go and see Bella. Probably rope her back into his reach and MAKE her fall in love with the piece of stone ugh

Whatever I gave up long ago

Edward POV

 _"Bella you've been unusually quiet this evening?"_

 _I didn't understand her, she says she wants me here but her .. Mood is telling me something else._

 _"Tell me the real reason you left Edward"_

 _"Bella I've told you the reason"_

 _"Well I don't believe it."_

 _That stung._

 _I stared at Bella dubiously for a moment_

 _"Don't you remember anything I told you before?"_

 _I remember everything that you told me"_

"Bella you seem to be under a misapprehension"

"I can't live in a world where you don't exist"

"Yet I'm not apart of your world but you're apart of mine? How at all is that fair?"

 _I can understand where she's coming from; really I can but too selfishly take her life away, put her in my world and expect her too marry me is hardly fair._

 _"Is that what you want?" The words sounded harsher than expected "to no longer be able to visit Charlie or Renee? And that's not all Bella but those are your parents, you're willing to sacrifice seeing anyone you love until they eventually die and the only time you'll see them is when they're 10 feet under the ground, you're willing to give up so much to be in my world?"_

 _Her eyes never separated from mine, Bella stood up from sitting in the kitchen, she walked towards me and placed a hand on my chest, her voice was strong when she spoke_

 _"Of course. I want this more than anything but I need to know. If we marry you'll change me, not Carlisle, you won't go back on your word?"_

 _Bella's face held nothing but worry, I could understand she didn't trust me,_

 _"Isabella Marie Swan I promise everything to you that I'll change you once we are married."_

 _A promise is a promise and I will no go back on my word again._

 _"Then yes, yes I'll marry you"_

 _Bella POV_

Charlie wasn't thrilled.

But Sue had surprisingly taken our side and managed to win Charlie over.

"Charlie we knew this would happen, but they've both never been teenagers in heart just teenagers in body with old souls"

And she was right, I couldn't live without Edward and he didn't want too live without me.

Once Charlie's face returned to a decent shade of pink he spoke

"Well I guess you're right Sue, as for you Bella don't you think it's all too much? I mean I don't know if this is what you want I won't and can't stop you.."

He was right he can't stop me.

"Well were both going to the same college next year, we want to do this right" I blurted out. It wasn't technically a lie.. we needed a public story for when I had to go into hiding..

"Okay Bells if this is happening I'd rather sulk and be apart of it then not have anything to do with it and lose you"

"S'kay dad it's gonna work out don't worry"

And for once I believed my own lie..


End file.
